Mourning Sun

Wit. Wit. My love, my heart, where are you? You have left me to die? To rot? To mourn?

I am not dead. Can’t you see me? Can’t you hear me? Look here is my hair, the same oaken tresses you would run through your fingers, shining strands streaming over your calloused palms.

Here is my face, the one you would gently stroke as we locked eyes in the shadowed dark. My skin is still soft and smooth - just as it was when you would hold me to you, our lips lightly touching in unmoving conversation. Do you remember that love? You must, for it was only yesterday. It has not been long.

My legs are here too, the ones I would use to run to you, that I would wrap around you when you lifted me from the ground into the soaring sky. They are strong and ready to run, just tell me where to.

You see my eyes don’t you? You see them? You must see them.

My hands are here, let me sooth you, let me ease your day and hold you. My arms about your shoulders. My chest against your back, our hearts beating together. I’m here, protecting, for I would not let a soul harm you. You, who is everything precious to me.

Wit, my love. The world is heavy and dark. I am here but I cannot move and I don’t know why. I don’t know where you are and you are not answering me. You always answer.

Are you hurt? No, you are not, you cannot be. I would know if you were, the pain would slice me and burn me, tear at my chest, steal my voice from my throat so no scream would be heard. So why do you not answer?

You would not have abandoned me, for you love me. You would not let them touch me.

Wit, I am cold.

I miss the sun, I do not want to be locked away. There are spirits here with me. Dead things only of bone and ash, clawing at me, pulling me towards them. I do not want to go Wit, I want you. Bring me back to the world of green and light. Why aren’t you here?

I know why, it is not your fault. You could not help it, I was gone when you returned. But I felt you. You held me to you, your shielding arms around me, pressing me to your chest as your body moved like the sea with sobs. But I could not hold you, no comfort could I give. Oh Wit I am sorry, I cannot protect you. Cannot be with you. But I am here my love. Please. I am so lost.

Don’t abandon me to this sunless place. It is dark and cold and I am afraid. I am not ready to go, it is not my time.

It was so long ago. I can feel your arms, hear your voice. Your face, Wit. But you would have forgotten me to time. I am a memory, faded and pale. No longer am I your love, I am dust.

I am gone.