Blue Medicine

I was sick when I stole Dad’s headache medicine. I’d had the Thursday and Friday off with a fever but now that it was Monday, Dad had suggested I was fine to go back to school. Mum had nodded, finishing a bottle of wine. Aunt Penny was supposed to wake me up because Mum had fallen asleep at Mr. Hudson’s again and Dad would leave for work early, but I’d woken myself up. My bedsheets were soggy.

During the day, I was forbidden to enter Dad’s study as he was normally very busy with important work. When he wasn’t at the office, his negotiations over the phone vibrated throughout the house. But I couldn’t hear his low voice now so I nudged open the door, peeking through the gap. Dad was wearing just his pyjama bottoms. I saw him cup a small blue tablet in his palm before swallowing it with some water.

“Dad?”

He threw open a drawer, chucked the remaining tablets into it, and slammed it shut. I told him about my accident and he told me not to worry and that he would clean it up, all the while blushing red.

“What is it?”

He told me they were a special type of adult medicine and that he needed it because he was feeling ill too. As I showered, he stripped the bed. He handed me a fresh pair of pyjamas, turned on the telly downstairs, and told me to wait for Aunt Penny – he had to go to work. He kissed me on the forehead and left.

Dad never usually let me watch telly in the mornings. He said it was bad for my eyes and that it would turn them into squares. Maybe he was right because my head started to hurt so I turned the telly off and closed my eyes. I remembered that Dad hadn’t locked the door to his study. My head was pounding so I poured a glass of water, put one of the blue tablets on my tongue and screwed my face up because it was so sour and flakey. I washed it down. It tasted horrible but I wanted to drown the fire in my head. Maybe I had been poorly because Dad hadn’t given me any of the adult medicine. It would make me better. I just had to wait. I returned to the living room. Aunt Penny still wasn’t here but pain still lurched in the trenches of my mind, taunting me. I tried resting my eyes again, but my head was engulfed in flames. I went back to Dad’s office.

Once Aunty Penny dropped me off at school, I sat down for morning registration. My headache had evaporated slightly, but most of the pain was condensing into waves, churning against the walls of my stomach. Miss Graham had to repeat my name twice. The carpet’s pattern was shimmering, melting together into a pale green. A wave.

I laughed. Miss Graham looked at me and asked if everything was alright. I managed to say yes before giggling again. Miss Graham told me to wait outside. I was very cold and could feel the weight of my shirt on my shoulders, as if it had been soaked in a storm. I struggled to stand up, leaning against the table. As I attempted to move to the other side of the classroom, I fell over my swaying legs. Miss Graham rushed over and I vomited on her loafers.

At home, Mum was diluting her wine with tears. Dad arrived, called back from work, but Mum yanked him outside the room. She screamed at him and he feebly attempted to calm her. I would’ve tried to tell her that it wasn’t his fault. It was mine for watching too much telly and taking his blue medicine. I would’ve told her but another wave crashed over my head as I was dragged by a current into a vast ocean.