For You

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And I don’t remember the cold, I remember the sun’s spotlight.

And I don’t remember fighting the wind, I remember the marks that we left on the sand.

I don’t remember the long wait either, I only remember the games we played.

I remember the feeling in my chest,

Not the pain in my head.

But I remember when we got back; how your eyes were all consuming,

How your smile could have saved me.

Now I remember watching you go; the glare in the carriage window

That blocked your final smile.

Not knowing when I’ll have another chance 

To get lost in that outrageous glance.

That’s the hardest part.

And now the sun pushes on my headache and makes it worse,

And the wind tries to knock me from my aching legs.

A song, a jumper, an image effortlessly

Pulls me back to thinking of you.

I’ll run home and surround myself with pictures of you

Like a crazed stalker, comforted only by your image.

Coldness clenches every crevasse of my body on nights like this

I am in desperate need of any kind of lifeline.

I bandage myself with your scarf

Which stops the life from running out of me entirely.

I desperately grasp for my phone because when it lights up it has a picture of you

And I use it to get to you, to talk to you.

 I’ll say something we both know I don’t mean,

Letting the part of me we both hate show itself for a brief moment

And it’ll shadow us for the next day or so

Then I’ll make a shallow promise that it won’t happen again and we’ll make up.

The reality we share has nothing to do with daffodils, roses or summer’s days,

It is the song we found together, the painting you made for me and the poem I wrote

For you.