Jaz, Life Was Cruel

Jaz,

Life was cruel to leave you on your own so early. 

I don’t remember meeting you, but your face is familiar, sort of like when you wake up and lose a dream you had just been holding onto.

Since I don’t remember how our paths cross, I will make one up.

Let’s say you held the door for me. You smile and I breathlessly thank you. We walk separate ways.

That sort of thing can happen to anyone.

These sorts of things can happen to anyone.

Those sorts of things should matter to everyone.

I read your poems. You said you wanted too much. I wish I could see into your dreams and fantasies and cradle all the hopes you thought were out of reach. 

There was a boy crying last night, or maybe the night before. When we asked him what was wrong he said his friend had died. Was that you? His voice is beautiful even when he’s sad. His song was much deeper.

I will think of you every now and then and hold a thought for you in my pocket.

Here’s to the first and last letter I will write to you.

Sincerely,

Eliza

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This piece is a part of a tribute to Exeter student Jaz Kenny. As well as featured online, this tribute will be published in the upcoming print journal.

‘It is a privilege to teach first year students in their first term – to be part of a time of discovery, excitement, and flowering. One student who began her degree in English and Creative writing in 2021, and who was full of promise and imagination, was Jaz Kenny. It was a terrible shock to all of us when we learned that she had died, suddenly, from medical complications, just a few weeks into her time as a student at Exeter. As convenor and lecturer on the introductory Creative Writing module, Write After Reading, I wasn’t lucky enough to get to know Jaz personally; but many of her fellow students were, and so was her seminar tutor, and her death touched all of us deeply. To honour Jaz’s passion for creative writing, her fellow first year Creative Writing students decided to produce a collection of creative tributes to her. Those tributes, together with three of Jaz’s own poems that she composed as part of her course, are included in this special issue, published with love and care by the wonderful team at Enigma Journal. Jaz, and your family, this is for you.’

Ellen Wiles, Lecturer in Creative Writing