Overwhelm

For once: release,

let me be above these streets,

give me one walk in peace,

an evening alone,

give me something to hold

as fully my own,

give me one night beyond

all I’ve ever known.

I sit among branches

staring out at the universe,

constellations becoming faces,

wondering how to move on

from the soft soil of earth, waiting

for the stars to call my name;

waiting on a sky of empty promises,

on the rains of intent, to stake my claim,

stagnating in the daily heat,

til the formless ghost of a breeze

seems to urge me onward,

like someone holding out their hand,

something calling me forth.

This silence is aching with all

that goes unspoken and I am only

one person listening and waiting

for something to happen, perched

on the precipice of a revelation,

never thinking to lean forward,

waiting to be prompted, never

knowing what could’ve been.

I see promise in an empty night

without filling it up with need.

I know I need something more,

always just staring at an open door,

it’s right there but what if

I forget my keys and I know, 

just senseless rambling, I know 

these are flimsy excuses but

the sands are running out against us 

and I sit stock still deliberating. 

And I hang among the atoms tonight,

among the fabrics of life, wishing,

I am lilac indecisive and the night

is monochrome electricity.

So forgive me for pausing 

on this window sill of time,

for not knowing which way the winds

will blow when there is no breeze.

Leave me to the night,

a three am sweaty delight,

leaning slightly too far

from the window sill light,

always almost falling,

almost ascending,

holding tight