Looking forward

Looking forward at seventeen meant

to grow small and frail and to whimper

under the weight of utter fear.

Looking forward at nineteen meant

the smallest of hope, a sliver

of optimism, the faintest dream.

Looking forward now means

knowing that love finds me

because I find community,

seeing whatever roof over my head

I can find and turning it pink and green,

soft and comforting,

knowing baked goods will be there

and so will pets and tea and kindness.