Heracles’ Twin

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That’s my brother over there,

The one now slouching like a bear,

With his lion cape so thick and reeking

To help with his attention seeking.

Oh, I know what people say,

He’s the hero of the day,

I can’t stand it nonetheless

It’s not just mere pettiness.

Find someone else to admire,

You can set your sights higher 

Than my precious twin brother,

Son of  Zeus and my mother.

Heracles! They cry, they sing,

But he hasn’t done a single thing

Since his dad did him a favour,

Giving him some tasks under which to labour.

I mean, what did he really do?

Just killed some things (and not just a few) 

While leading my own son astray

And throwing him into the fray!

It’s always been just about him. 

The family, they all preen and prim 

And fawn over old Heracles -

But who remembers Iphicles?

What’s he got that I have not?

His bad deeds hurt him not a jot!

Just because he punched a cow

He’s the one who’s famous now.

He’s even thrown my sons by Pyrrha

Into a scalding open fire!

He claims it’s madness, Hera’s curse

(Which somehow only makes it worse

Than if he’d owned up all along

Instead of shouldering off his wrongs)

Still it harms him not a jot,

He’s the best one of the lot

Good job! They cry, good Heracles,

Forgetting plain old Iphicles.

Surely it is not my bad

That I don’t have the same dad,

(Nor is he the one mum’s married to

If that’s relevant to you),

I’ve never been sent mad,

I’ve never killed my own two lads.

Haven’t had to seek an oracle’s curse,

Haven’t been a prisoner - or worse.

Never been on a killing rampage,

But all he’s ever done is damage!

But no, good on you Heracles,

Good job not being Iphicles.