Checkout
Adapted from "Checkout" by Caroline Bird
EXT. TRAIN STATION – DUSK
Sound of a train departing.
CARL (V.O)
So, this is death.
CARL (40) stands on a platform like he just got off a train. He walks toward the waiting booth, but it’s closed. He looks around and finally sits down on a bench.
CARL
This is not what I expected.
Sound of a pen clicking. GABRIEL (45), appears out of nowhere and stands by Carl.
GABRIEL
Hi, could I borrow five minutes of your time to fill out a quick questionnaire before your train arrives?
CARL
Sorry. Did you say questionnaire? Who are you? And how does your hair fall so perfectly?
GABRIEL
Thank you. And don't worry, you'll be out of here in no time. Question one: How would you rate your life?
CARL
Uhm, out of five stars or on a scale of 1 to 10?
GABRIEL
The options are very good, good, average, bad, and very bad.
CARL
Oh. Oh, I don't know. If it was any other day, I'd probably say good.
GABRIEL
A simple answer will do.
CARL
Average, I guess. It's just a shame. I was really looking forward to something.
Suddenly intrigued, Gabriel sits down next to Carl.
GABRIEL
What were you looking forward to?
CARL
You're going to think I'm very silly, beautiful Angel man.
GABRIEL
I promise I won't.
CARL
I had a boys' trip planned this weekend.
GABRIEL
Maybe I'm not the best at keeping promises.
CARL
I told you! Honestly, I wish I could tell you that I had unfulfilled dreams or unrequited love or something big and important like that, but I didn't. All I can think about is the boys' trip.
John and I, we met through our wives - they became friends over an adult only ballet class in town. It's funny - they both nearly didn't go. Crazy to think we wouldn't have met if they hadn't gone. I can't imagine not knowing them.
John's really nice. I mean it. John really is nice. I've had friends before, but not like him. When he'd ask me about my day or my week, he'd listen to what I had to say, and he helped me out, even with the little things. I've actually cried in front of him. And he's cried in front of me.
On Sunday mornings, the four of us used to drive out to see the sunrise by the coast, but our missus-es would fall asleep on the way back, and John and I would listen to the music we liked in college - John and I had the same taste in music when we were teenagers.
I sometimes think about how different my life would be if I had met John when I was younger. What it would be like to have a good friend when I needed one. Someone I could spend the night talking with without feeling scared all the time. Maybe I wouldn't be here. Maybe I'd be a hippie performing my latest poems in a pub almost empty aside from John. I think I'd like that, looking at the audience to find him sat right in the front, staring at me like I have all the answers. He'd clap after every line, that man. I wouldn't be able to take him anywhere. That would be nice.
GABRIEL
He sounds lovely.
CARL
He is. I miss him already. Is he going to be here soon?
Gabriel shakes his head.
CARL (CONT’D)
Good.
GABRIEL
You're not disappointed?
CARL
No. That's good. He deserves a long, happy life. A boys' trip with someone nicer. More... fun.
GABRIEL
You're really not disappointed?
Carl shakes his head.
GABRIEL
What's it like, to feel disappointment?
CARL
You know, it's not a good feeling. You've never been disappointed?
GABRIEL
No. I guess it's because I've never hoped.
CARL
Hm. I’ve never thought of it like that.
GABRIEL
Oh.
CARL
John probably thinks of it like that. He is a massive romantic. He can talk for hours about the importance of hope and love and passion and all those big words. He does make me smile. He did make me smile.
Beat.
GABRIEL
Do you want to change your rating? For John?
CARL
No.
GABRIEL
No?
CARL
See – disappointment!
GABRIEL
Oh my God!
CARL
I knew you had it in you, you beautiful man.
GABRIEL
Thank you. You're very nice, Carl.
CARL
You're very nice too, Angel man!
GABRIEL
Gabriel.
CARL
Gabriel. Nice to meet you. Can I please change my rating to very good?
GABRIEL
Yes, you can. Thank you, Carl. I hope you enjoyed your stay.
Carl can't stop smiling.
CARL
Thank you-
There is the soft sound of a clicking pen.
CARL (CONT’D)
-Gabriel. I did enjoy my stay. I'd really love to come again. What's the next question?
Carl is alone in the booth.
CARL
Huh. I guess that was the last question.
Carl looks around the train platform.
CARL
Gabriel, any chance you could tell me what to do now?
Sound of a train arriving.
CARL
Do I just get on without any paperwork, or?