High school sweethearts

“Why?” 

A question. A simple word. 

Drawn out disbelief in the stale air, cradled by your absence.

One lingering syllable left on my tongue,

remaining denial, reaching out, grasping for you. 

Choppy waves straining, battling 

to touch the steady shore, 

met only with bruises from fleeting 

moments smashed against the turf.

My wretched heart beating, 

counting 1, 2, 3, 4

Liquid uncertainty burning through my veins, 

injected invading thoughts form glassy eyed stares, 

blurring the cold blue landscape outside.

My senses tired, dulled, disoriented.

Hidden under crisp white sheets, hopeless,

chasing dreamy mirages of us together,

numbly staring through the empty space. 

As time passed I watched us sour,

consistent fights filling up the hours. 

Withdrawn information, muted smiles, sinking hearts, 

the distance a tear between us, 

shredded pages, an incomplete novel,

pulling and picking at the seams,

we ripped us apart.

Flying too close to the sun, we burnt so bright.

Soaring together, eternalised in gold,

the light reminiscent of a halo on your head,

concealed your wicked horns.

I chased your warmth, long after you’d grown so cold,

fearing letting you go, submitting to you.

Of all my mistakes, I never ran from your fire, 

your light consumed me whole, fed off me.

Despite my limits, for you I still flew higher, until

suddenly my wax wings failed me, 

I fell for years 

and you still never caught me.

Time for your call, once more flinching in pain,

your damning words made floods of tears fall.

Waist deep in the murky depths of missing you, 

wading through mud, 

pulled further under by my heart’s dull thuds.  

Losing the comfort of you, a sharp prong through my chest,

but masked within the pain lurks a hidden sense of relief,

a stubborn phoenix rising from the layered ashes of grief.  

Sifting through the wreckage of the past six months,

I sensed for a while it was time to say “Goodbye”.

Now your tyranny can end, and once more I can fly.