物の哀れ (Mono No Aware)
A black screen. Beneath the Japanese characters of the title, 物の哀れ, the words “mono no aware: 1. The pathos of things, 2. a sensitivity to ephemera or 3. The wistfulness that transience is the nature of all life.” appear.
EXT. ORSON STREET - NIGHT
EMILY (20) pushes both hands into her coat pockets as headlights illuminate her face. She is a young Japanese woman with shoulder-length dark hair. The sky is dark, obscured by clouds. Her phone lights up and EMILY opens it to read: “Dear Miss Kamiya, the ACROSS OCEANS AGENCY (AOA) has been requested to contact you on the behalf of your DNA match in Japan. If desirable to you, a translated letter shall be sent to the address of your choice.”
EMILY
Oh my god.
With trembling fingers, she scrolls up and down several times, tears welling up. A DRUNK WOMAN (42) stumbling behind her, grumbles when EMILY halts abruptly.
DRUNK WOMAN
Go back to where you came from, bitch.
EMILY ignores the outburst, gazing enraptured down at her phone, and easily outpaces the DRUNK WOMAN. Further down the road she calls someone, arm shaking as she holds the phone to her ear.
EMILY
Hi. Um. Are you free sometime soon? There’s something I’ve got to tell you.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
One hand runs through white grains of rice, rinsing them beneath the steady flowing water from the faucet. EMILY swirls her fingers around the sieve, watching as the water drains away into the sink.
VANESSA (O.S)
Is it almost ready?
The radio switches on without warning as EMILY straightens up and turns to find VANESSA (45), a British woman with dark blonde hair, chopping up vegetables as she bobs along to a Christmas song.
EMILY
Oh god. Please stop doing that thing.
VANESSA
This, you mean?
She continues to swing her hips as she moves to toss the chopped vegetables into a hot wok.
INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
In a small hall filled with young children, EMILY (6) stands at the front of the room beside a DANCE TEACHER (24).
DANCE TEACHER
Class, we have a new student joining us today. This is Emily Kamiya. She’s joining the Grade 3 dancers.
All of the children stare at EMILY. She glances around at them, noting the girls’ sleek ballet buns and pretty ballet pumps. She twirls one finger around a loose strand of dark hair and looks down at her own tired and worn pumps. The dance teacher places her in the left of the room, next to a ballet barre. EMILY holds it with one hand as they warm up.
One BOY (8) is standing opposite her. She’s sweeping her right foot forward when he catches her attention then puts his fingers to his eyes in a mocking facsimile of her own. The dance teacher calls for a plié in first position and, as she dips into the plié, she shoots the BOY a glare.
EXT. COURTYARD - DAY
EMILY leans against a wall as the children around her gather in small groups, stretching and drinking from water bottles. A group of children come up to her, the BOY from before leading them.
BOY
Alright, ching-chong?
EMILY glares at him as the other children giggle.
EMILY
I’m not a ching-chong. I’m Japanese.
The giggling erupts into laughter.
BOY
All the same, isn’t it? My mum said you were thrown away which is why your mummy doesn’t look like you.
EMILY steps forward until she’s nose-to-nose with the BOY. She pushes him backwards and the other children step back nervously. The BOY scowls down at her, then shoves her to the floor.
Her knee scrapes the concrete, blood blossoming over her skin. All of the children crowd around as EMILY bursts into tears.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
The oil sizzles in the wok as VANESSA (45) gives it a hearty shake. They both laugh as EMILY (20) rushes over with the clean rice and pours it into a saucepan of boiling water.
EMILY
I wouldn’t call that dancing, mum. Here try something like…
EMILY pushes herself away from the stove, elegantly spinning, and dipping into a pirouette. She unbalances with a squeal and grabs VANESSA for support.
VANESSA
I see all those ballet lessons paid off, didn’t they?
INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
The BOY is standing before the dance teacher, pale-faced. The TEACHER’s expression is stern.
After several moments of an extended scolding, the DANCE TEACHER fetches EMILY, eyes still red-rimmed, so he can apologise for hurting her.
BOY
Sorry your feelings got hurt.
The DANCE TEACHER ushers her outside. The BOY looks up as she leaves, to see EMILY wiping away her tears nonchalantly. They lock eyes. He stares, mouth falling open, as the door swings shut behind them.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
EMILY (20) pauses to answer the question, her lips pursing.
EMILY
Yeah, I suppose they did.
VANESSA shakes her off good-naturedly and EMILY waltzes back over to stir the rice with a wooden spoon. When all that’s left on the counter is a raw steak, waiting on the chopping board beside a knife, VANESSA starts singing along to the tune. Something buzzes, barely audible beneath the music, and EMILY checks her phone.
EMILY (CONT’D)
D’you need any more help or can I go upstairs for a bit?
She grins as VANESSA breaks off in surprise, mid-chorus.
VANESSA
Oh- of course you can. It’s your holiday after all... and I can cook the steak by myself. Be ready for 7?
EMILY has already disappeared by the time she finishes speaking.
INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Christmas carols drift up faintly through the floor as EMILY lies on her bed, staring at the wall opposite which is decorated with cut-outs of ballet dancers. Outside, the night is clear and she can hear her mum singing along to the music downstairs. With one hand, EMILY reaches for her phone and unlocks it.
An email appears on the screen: “Dear Miss Kamiya, the letter from your DNA match should arrive within the next two weeks. Please notify us...”
She stares at the words, the bright screen reflecting in her eyes before going dark
INT. ASIAN SUPERMARKET - DAY
EMILY (16) is scanning a list of ingredients as VANESSA (41) is picking vegetables in the background. The girl turns, marching to an aisle packed with a variety of noodles. She stares at the assortment, overwhelmed. As she does, an OLD MAN (72) wanders over.
OLD MAN
(in Japanese)
Can I help you?
EMILY looks around, frowning as he speaks. He tuts at the confusion evident on her face. She continues to look baffled and slightly scared.
OLD MAN (CONT’D)
(in English)
Can I help you?
She struggles for a reply, awkwardly dipping her head to the floor.
EMILY
No. Thank you.
VANESSA comes up behind them, a worried twist in her mouth.
VANESSA
Everything okay, Emily?
EMILY
Yeah.
EMILY spots the noodles they need and grabs a packet off the shelf, leading her mother away from the OLD MAN before they can start a conversation.
OLD MAN
(to himself)
Gaijin.
Looking startled, VANESSA stares at him over one shoulder before raising her eyebrows at EMILY, who shrugs.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
VANESSA (45) and EMILY (20) are sitting on a sofa, a blanket over their legs, watching television. In the corner of the room is a Christmas tree, glowing multi-coloured in contrast to the low living room lighting. VANESSA is cradling a mug of tea in her hands.
EMILY glances down as her phone lights up. She hurries to see what the notification is, tapping it open.
VANESSA
What’s that?
EMILY
Nothing. Just Alex asking about English work.
A pause. VANESSA purses her lips and leans back against the sofa.
VANESSA
I thought it was over with Alex?
EMILY
It is.
VANESSA
Is it?
EMILY
Mum, it’s fine! We’re just friends.
VANESSA
You deserve better than to waste your time on someone like him.
EMILY
I know that, god! Have a bit more faith in me.
VANESSA doesn’t seem convinced but she nods.
EMILY (CONT’D)
It’s just he’s the only person at uni that I’ve been able to talk to about... y’know. Stuff.
VANESSA
Such as?
EMILY lowers her phone. With increasing exasperation, she waves a hand at her face.
EMILY
About my background, mum.
VANESSA
Ohhh, I see. Was he also adopted- I mean, does he understand what it’s like?
EMILY
No but he’s second gen. So more than anyone else could, yeah.
VANESSA studies her as EMILY goes back to her phone. When she feels her mother’s eyes watching her, she gives up and flings it down.
VANESSA
Has something happened?
EMILY
Nope.
She pops the ‘p’ and stares rigidly at the television. VANESSA remains silent.
EMILY (CONT’D)
Just been thinking about it lately. Y’know about why- how someone could abandon their kid. Why they’d choose to do that.
Her eyes water and she swipes at them furiously.
EMILY (CONT’D)
It’s so stupid but I can’t stop thinking about it. You know I love you and think of you as my mum but it doesn’t stop me wondering about why she abandoned me like that, so easily. Like I was a thing to get rid of. I used to hate her, when I was little. I hated that she threw me away.
VANESSA
(quietly)
Oh Emily, she loved you. She must have. I’ve always believed it. It’s natural for you to think about it; it’s always going to be a part of your life whether you like it or not. Coming to terms with it will be hard but you can’t forget that she might not have had a choice. Whatever forced her to make that decision can’t have been done lightly.
EMILY presses her head against her mother’s shoulder, crying.
INT. EMILY'S BEDROOM
EMILY (16) is sitting on her bed, laptop balanced on her knees, as she types the word ‘gaijin’ into a search engine. Clicking on the first definition available, EMILY’s face tightens as the words appear: “An outsider, or person from outside, incl., people from the Japanese diaspora who are not Japanese citizens.”
She slams the laptop shut.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
The next morning, VANESSA (45) and EMILY (20) are eating breakfast. Looking tired, EMILY pushes her cereal around the bowl with a spoon.
EMILY
I want to go to Japan.
The question surprises VANESSA but she doesn’t appear to be upset by it.
VANESSA
When do you want to go?
EMILY
This summer? I’ll get a job and start saving up for it. But I thought I’d ask first in case you wanted to come too.
VANESSA
Well… I’m happy to go with you. I’ve always wanted to see the Hanami. Lorraine told me they were absolutely stunning in the spring when she went last year. Oh, but you said the summer, didn’t you? Are you set on going then?
EMILY shrugs and eats a mouthful of cereal, chewing as she comes to a decision.
EMILY
Not really. As long as we can go, I don’t care when.
VANESSA
Oh that’s... absolutely fine.
As long as you’re sure about this.
Her voice trails off into silence as she waits for EMILY to reply, brow furrowed.
EMILY
No. I just think I need to go back at some point.
INT. UNIVERSITY BEDROOM - NIGHT
EMILY (20) collapses on her bed with a sigh, letting her backpack slide to the floor. Her desk is a cluttered mess of books and used mugs. The calendar on the wall opposite reads January. There is a knock on the door.
SAM (O.S)
Emily, there’s a letter for you. I couldn’t get it under your door.
EMILY retrieves the envelope in question. When she turns the envelope over, the return address is to VANESSA.
EMILY
Thanks.
Frowning, she places it down on her desk and retreats back to her bed.
INT. LECTURE HALL - DAY
EMILY (20) enters a busy lecture hall full of chattering students, panting and wide-eyed. At the front, a LECTURER (48) is loading a PowerPoint. Finding a seat, she looks around and spots ALEX (20), a young Asian man with dark hair, who is chatting to the girl next to him.
LEILA (20) flops down beside her.
LEILA
You deserve better.
EMILY
I know. I just thought that he’d understand.
The LECTURER clears her throat and the room falls silent.
LECTURER
Critics often debate when the Romantic period truly began…
EXT. UNIVERSITY BUILDING - DAY
The doors to the lecture hall open and a stream of students flow out, LEILA and EMILY carried with them. As they walk, LEILA shoots her several suspicious glances but EMILY ignores them.
LEILA
Why were you looking at plane flights?
EMILY
Summer plans.
LEILA nods and then her mouth falls open.
LEILA
With family or with friends, right? You aren’t going with-
EMILY pulls a face.
LEILA (CONT’D)
I was gonna say! It looked way too nice for you to visit with a lousy guy like that.
She breaks off as ALEX approaches them.
ALEX
Emily! How are you?
The two girls exchange glances. EMILY’s face is a mask of politeness.
EMILY
Fine.
ALEX struggles to meet her gaze. LEILA folds her arms.
ALEX
Good. That’s good. I’m, er, sorry about what happened last Friday.
EMILY
Sure. Just– next time, don’t bother wasting my time.
EMILY walks away without saying goodbye. LEILA, arms still crossed, stares at ALEX with disgust.
LEILA
A football game? Are you fucking serious, Alex? After everything, you had to go and be a dick!
Several STUDENTS look at them.
ALEX
They needed me to play and I couldn’t say no, okay? Listen, Emily said she had something to tell me.
LEILA’s anger morphs into stony disbelief.
LEILA
I’m sorry. Are you that desperate to get her back? Leave Emily alone and stop bothering her.
ALEX
No, I’m being serious! She hung up before I could ask her about it. D’you think everything’s okay?
LEILA
At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe - just maybe - being stood up pissed her off?
He shakes his head and storms away. LEILA glares after his retreating back and tosses her hair over her shoulder.
LEILA
Dick.
INT. UNIVERSITY BEDROOM - NIGHT
EMILY is at her desk, holding the unopened envelope with her name on it, when there’s a knock on her door.
SAM (O.S)
Em? Leila’s here. You heading out soon?
EMILY
At 7:30, yeah. Why? Wanna come?
The door opens slowly and SAM (21), a young man with curly hair, pokes his head inside. She tosses the envelope away. SAM stares as she composes herself with a smile then shakes his head, amused.
SAM
Intruding on a girls’ night? Nah. Did enough of that in first year.
EMILY laughs.
SAM (CONT’D)
Anyway, Leila’s waiting for you in the kitchen.
SAM pauses in the doorway, hovering awkwardly.
EMILY
Anything else?
SAM
Leila. She, ah, mentioned what happened last week with Alex?
EMILY groans at the name, rolling her eyes.
EMILY
We bumped into him, that’s all. It wasn’t that deep.
SAM
If you say. Just thought I’d check in but, as always, you’re handling things like a pro.
EMILY lightly punches his shoulder as she gets up to follow him. The envelope lies abandoned on her desk.
INT. CAFÉ - DAY
Early February. To one side of a bustling high-street, EMILY and LEILA sit inside a squat coffee shop, decorated with flowery wallpaper and warm orange lights in lanterns.
LEILA
Why is he always late to everything?
EMILY (20) fiddles with a sugar bowl as the door to the café opens swiftly and SAM (21) steps into the building. They giggle as he spots them across the room and bounds over, nearly knocking a woman’s handbag from a chair.
SAM
Hey. Sorry I’m late! I’ve never been here before.
LEILA
We all know you’d be late anyway, Sam, don’t worry about it.
EMILY laughs as SAM takes a seat.
EMILY
It’s absolutely fine. Now you’re here, I should explain why I’ve been a bit out of it this past week.
SAM nods as EMILY pulls the envelope out of her bag.
LEILA
What’s that?
Everyone eyes the envelope in silence for a moment.
SAM
That… Looks kinda serious. What’s this about, Em?
EMILY shrugs, looking down at the envelope’s faded postmark.
EMILY
It’s been on my desk for weeks and I’m too scared to open it by myself.
She reaches for her mug and lifts it to her lips with shaking hands. EMILY takes a sip, steeling herself against the hot coffee, then lowers the mug and nods.
EMILY
Okay, fine. Do you mind staying with me while I open it?
SAM shakes his head, eyes serious. She picks at the sealed opening with her nails, glancing around the room.
EMILY inhales sharply and rips open the envelope. As she pulls the contents out, Leila frowns as a brown envelope falls out, postmarked from Japan.
SAM
Jesus. That is not what I was expecting.
LEILA
Wait. Is this about why you called Alex the other week?
EMILY nods without meeting her gaze.
EMILY (CONT’D)
It’s from my birth family. I think I’ve found them. Or, the company I hired did. I’m not sure. It’s just all very sudden and I’ve not been able to tell either of you about it but then my mum forwarded this and I just have to open it.
SAM lets out a deep breath, exchanging a glance with LEILA, who looks stunned.
SAM
Wait, so you only think you’ve found them. Is it a letter from the company or your birth family?
EMILY
I don’t know. But I’m scared.
LEILA
Who wouldn’t be? You don’t have to open this now, if you don’t want to.
EMILY
No, I really, really do. It’s just that knowing that the answer, whatever it is, is inside that envelope is kind of making me want to throw up.
LEILA reaches out a comforting hand to steady EMILY’s shaking wrist. She looks over at SAM pointedly. When he doesn’t get the hint, she kicks him under the table.
SAM
Ow! Oh, alright. Fine. Emily, if you want me to– can I open this one for you?
EMILY laughs but the sound is tempered by her nerves. SAM tears open the envelope and pulls out the letter, offering it to EMILY, who shakes her head.
EMILY
I can’t.
Her voice is high with terror and her cheeks are pale. Sighing, LEILA takes the letter and her mouth drops open. SAM, reading over her shoulder, gasps.
SAM
You’ve got to be kidding me.
EMILY jumps to her feet and snatches it wildly, knocking the table and spilling coffee over the envelope. As she scans it frantically, one hand covers her mouth in shock.
EMILY
They got the wrong birthdate. It’s not even– they never found...
She slides back down into her chair as LEILA reaches over to hold her hand.
LEILA
Emily, I don’t even know what to say-
SAM looking flabbergasted, puts his head in his hands.
SAM
Holy shit.
EMILY
(faintly)
Holy fucking shit.